We Do WHAT In The Shadows!? - Ep. 9

The mysterious mystery of the Zed family is revealed!

The saga of Garibaldi x Guido comes to an end - 50 years into the future!

Content warning: Profanity, murder, [insert joke here]

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to your worst nightmare, another RPG actual play podcast. Solitude, a journaling RPG podcast, is just me in a room, not to brag, with a journal, a solo RPG, and some damn good coffee. I play to see what happens in the story. I write in my fictional journal, and you get to hang out next to me by the fire. My name is Auri. I hope you enjoy our time together. This is Solitude. We do what in the shadows? Alright everybody, let's get this thing on the road. Somebody recommended me a wikiHow article on how to look like a vampire. So let's check it out and see if there's any hot tips for Marcel. Number one, have unsaturated skin. So, if you don't, fuck me, I guess. Okay, greyer. You need to put some foundation on that makes your skin greyer, okay? Use dark eyeliner Okay, Marcel's got that. He's still got his whole makeup haul that he's been dragging with him ever since he left the monastery. Use some vampire accessories like pocket watches, canes, antique brooches, necklaces. Wear a cape. I think, I kind of feel like that could have been just one and done. Like, number one, wear a cape. And that's the end of the article. And then there's a vampire name generator Okay, let's do, if Guido should change their name, let's put gender, man, description. Let's put in bisexual Catholic musician, volleyball enthusiast. I got three names. They're porn names. If Marcel ever goes into porn, this is what he's gonna do. Okay, let's do the voice properly. The three names I got. Armand Agility. Caspian Velvet. The only thing soft about him is his name. And the last one, Nico Twinklefang. And that's when he switches over to gay porn. Oh, Nico Twinklefang. Nico Twinklefang. Don't you know who I am? I'm Nico Twinklefang. This is probably my favorite of them all. These fangs, they're twinkle fangs. Okay, I could do this all day. This is going nowhere. This makes no sense. So I think we'll get to the game. Let's do like a super quick recap thing. I don't know what that segment was called. It was called Secrets of the Twinkle Fang. Skills I have... that I can still use that haven't been checked are sexual mastery, hypnosis, and being a good husband. I can come up with five different ways of using them together, but the game rules work such that we have to use them one by one. Resources, we have beauty, and the secret cabal. Because even if we completed our blood oath to the secret cabal, the elderly holy ball team slash cult, we gave Giuseppe the giant all of our skills in Holy Ball, they kind of still owe me a favor, or I can use it as a resource and call up on them if there's any situation where that seems like a good idea. I'd really like to get the Holy Ball skills back too, but I don't know, I kind of like the tension of Marcel wanting them back and not getting them back. What else? Let's also recap the memories while we're at it. The five memories our guy has is murdering loved ones, discovering a wider immortal world, becoming and being a family man or building my legacy, holy ball, and the temptations of the muscled hair. I'll try to keep these in mind when playing because these really are starting to affect the way the story is going to go the stuff that Marcel has in his diary that he doesn't actively remember are his childhood and being brought up in the monastery no memories of it just has entries in his diary which he can look up the warm and nice experience of learning music from Father Augusto that's gone or that's in the diary and then the life with Garibaldi their joy of fucking their sadness of fighting and their life together in Firenze, all of it gone. Without further twinkle fang, let's do this. We're at prompt 11 right now, so I'm gonna roll the dice and see where we land, and I'll read the prompt out loud when I get to it. So here goes. That's a 6 and a 3, so we move three spaces forward. I'll get my book. We're While traveling, you come into conflict with another immortal. Gain a mark. Who are they? What trick did you play upon them? Create a new immortal character. Super cool. While traveling, okay. Last episode I said I kind of want to do a time jump. So let's have a little bit of time pass between the last entry in the journal and now. So Marcel has been living the life of a family man. He enjoys home-cooked dinners. So Angelique's familiar Mercedes Uber Eats is a food taxi for for the vampires of the Boulangerie family, and Guido as well. I'm gonna, I'm probably gonna call him Guido and Marcel mixed, so bear with me. It's the same guy. If he ends up living to, like, modern times, he's gonna have, like, a hundred different names, including Nico Twinklefang. Is it a bird? No. Is it an airplane? No. It is Nico Twinklefang. Twinklefang? I'm gonna Google what Twinklefang would be in German. Funkeldnerfangdahn. I'm not sure if that's correct, but it's what Google Translate gives me. Oh ja, that's a nice Funkeldner. Of the East Berlin Funkeldners. This is going nowhere. So let's do about 10 years. I think that's a nice round number, so it would be 1592. For some reason, Guido hasn't met with the Zed family, although I don't know, this could be a meeting with the Zed family. Let's say that the Zed family, the noble family of Guido's parents, they escaped during the wars of religion. They're still going on until 1596. Let's have Guido travel in England, and during these 10 years, I don't want to get into too many details He has worked his ass off with his wife Elise in trying to get their family up and going, and I think this prompt gives us a little bit of space to have that work out, because they're traveling, so let's... Guido's traveling with his wife Elise. Perhaps they're, in a classic Dracula sense, looking for some real estate or a business when they happen up Upon a court, a holy ball court in York, a court in York, the Yorkese court. They don't have children, because I'm not sure if he can have children. They've probably had attempts with little success, but yet they persist. So they get to York. There's a church or an abbey that they're looking for. They walk the streets of York and suddenly they see a court. They haven't had luck with a child because there hasn't been a stalk. After eating a healthy dish of pork with a fork, they head over to the streets of York and they happen upon a court. Guido stops. and just looks at it. He hasn't thought about holy ball in years. He's kind of pushed it away from his mind. He gets an idea of maybe he could be a part of holy ball in this way. His red right hand aches, starts to burn. He walks the court. There are some children playing. The children kind of egg him on. They challenge him into a small game. Guido laughs, walks up to the court, does the form of the anaconda. The children get serious. Guido throws the ball up in the air and smashes and misses. The children laugh at him. Guido turns, lifts his cape to his face, and dries a single tear. You know who never misses an opportunity to smash? He goes Winklevang. They end up not buying the property of the abbey or the cathedral. Instead, they buy a bunch of courts, a bunch of holy ball courts near cathedrals, near monasteries. And this is when they get to a bit of a bidding war. A bidding war with a person whose initials are ZZZ. Ooh. So what the prompt says is there's a conflict, So a bidding war is already a kind of a conflict. We can kind of amp it up a little bit, but we don't have to fight. What if we end up going to court, and the court is held at the court in York, in the Holy Ball court in York, we'll have court. Since Guido's name is twice changed, he's known as Marcel Delacroix, there's no reason for the Z family to realize that it's Guido. So that's a cool journal entry to write, is what happened in court. Gain a mark. So Guido gets another vampiric or unholy mark. He already has the burning right hand, which can be conveniently concealed with a glove. What would be a logical consequence of going to court? Guido will win the case and the Delacroix family will become like the number one holy ball benefactors or holy ball moguls in Western Europe. So kind of by accident he gets to meet somebody from the Z family. Do I want it to be the mother? The father? No, maybe not. A brother? A sister? A sibling? Let's do a sibling like a non-binary sibling. Now, this is the big thing. I don't want the Zed family to be vampires. They're undead. And for some reason, they're also eyeing the courts. Perhaps they're... Maybe they're in opposition to the muscled hair. Maybe they're the worst enemies or the best friends with Father Weisschneger, because we don't really know what he's up to. But the Zed family's interest in the Holy Ball courts is because of Father Weisschneger. That's something I like. I like the idea of that. We'll find out what Big Papa Cheese is all about one day, but this is not that day. So we're in court with our sibling, and we play a trick upon them. The obvious answer would be that they're werewolves. What other classic ones are there? They could be zombie-type people? Skeletons? What if it's a family of skeletons Their wigs are so big and their coats are so puffy that nobody notices that they're skeletons. Oh, it's the master of skeleton manner. How do they reproduce? When a skeleton really loves a skeleton, they bone, right? And from that is born a small bundle of bones. A small bundle of joy. They have a child the normal way. The little skeleton is just slowly growing in the belly of the pregnant skeleton. And once they're big enough, they just plop out. And this makes sense because Guido has... This is a revelation to Guido because he finds out he has a skeleton inside him. This is so stupid. This is the stupidest thing. Guido finds out he has a skeleton side to him. He's half man, half skeleton. Guido's father had an affair with just flesh, and their child was such a terrible, horrifying mess that they, instead of bringing him up as their own, they gave him up on the steps of an Italian monastery full of British monks playing music. It's Is there anything more ugly and horrifying than a child who's half-skeleton, half-flesh? 50% skeleton. 50% flesh golem. 100% Nico Twinklefang. I'm happy we got all the lore down. That's the stupid- It's the stupidest thing in the world. Oh, man. Oh, I love it. It's just a guy. It's just a guy. That's where he gets his name from. It's just a guy. Well, a clear mark now that we got this far with the family lore is let's have a bit of the skeleton show. The layer of flesh on his head becomes very thin. His head becomes gaunt. Skull-like. Yeah, that's cool. I like that. Why does it happen? How does it happen? Maybe in the middle of the court. He keeps his identity secret for a while and then he makes a big reveal that he's actually... the brother of this skeleton. Or half-brother, I guess, since Guido is half-flesh golem. It would make sense that they are the enemies of Father Weisschneger, because Father Weisschneger is all about the muscles, which the Z family very much isn't. He makes a case in court that yes, an heir of the Z family would get the court, and he tricks the Z family to agree to that, and somehow kind of like that, yeah. And then when he has to prove that he's actually half-skeleton, he does so, and that's a permanent thing. And you can't put a glove on a face. I guess you can, it's called a mask, but he won't. He's just gonna be kind of a creepy, creepy gaunt-looking guy from now on. Scary in a hot way. That's the look I'm going for. Scary in And meanwhile, also, there's not a prompt for this, but I just want to do this. I think it was clear in the last episode. Garibaldi is Marcel's familiar. There's no love there anymore. Garibaldi just wants to be what Guido is, desperately. Guido is just going to lead Garibaldi on and have him do his bidding. So Garibaldi becomes this imp of a man. He's got a terrible health condition, and he refuses to wear pants. And he's got a small, burnt-off penis. Still impressive, so good for him. Yeah, he's not a cute guy anymore. I'm not sure if he ever was. But Garibaldi is the familiar of Guido. Prompt or not, I just like the idea. So I'm gonna roll for the second prompt. Here it goes. It's a six and a four. So we go two back. Yeah. From 15 to 13. Generations of the same family serve you. Ooh. This line starts from any living mortal character or from the descendants of a dead mortal character. What bizarre rituals do they tie to their servitude? Lose a resource and create a servitors of the lineage resource. My first idea is that it's got something to do with the people in the secret cabal. So the family Delacroix is now making their money and fame in stadiums, essentially. No, it's just holy ball courts. They buy courts all over Europe, Western Europe, let's keep it at that. Generations of the same family. Let's list our options. We could do the secret cabal... the descendants of those people. Head monk Father Augusto, he's dead. Doesn't really make sense. Veronica, we still haven't gotten to Veronica, is the smuggler near the monastery where Guido was brought up. No, not now. Not right now. Not like this. Garibaldi. And Mercedes Uber Eats. We also have Elise Delacroix, which is Marcel's wife. This is the deal. This is the deal Garibaldi gets. Garibaldi has to start a family of Garibaldis. The clan Garibaldi begins now. And Guido gets Garibaldi a wife. The way, like, dogs are bred. Guido is breeding Garibaldi. Nico Twinklefang.

UNKNOWN 20:07

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

And since Guido and his wife, the Delacroix family, now have quite a bit of money, Guido necessarily doesn't want to meet his parents right now. He got a good dose of the family lore, and the whys and the whos and the whats. Not the how, but who knows. He's just trying to build his legacy here. And since also he's forgotten his childhood, the importance of the ZZZ family is... What he really wants now is Garibaldi to have children. Little Garibaldis of his own. Garibaldi Jr. They're all called Garibaldi Jr. And I think we'll also do a time jump here because it's generations of the same family serve you. What if we did like 50 years into the future? We could get up to like the grandchildren of Garibaldi. 50 years in the future Elise is still alive, although old. We're well into the 1600s and I'll look up my Wikipedia to figure out some cool historical connections there. Yes, this is... This feels right. This feels like how it should be. They put up Garibaldi with a wife and a house and they have a bunch of little Garibaldis. All raised in the philosophy of Garibaldi. No pants, no hygiene, all man. And sadly, sadly the condition is hereditary. So Garibaldi's condition is sadly passed on to his children and his children's children. So we have three generations of Garibaldi. And 50 years forward, Garibaldi is still alive and kicking. Lose a resource and create a servitors of the lineage resource. So which one am I gonna lose? So I believe I can lose a checked resource. So we have beauty. I don't want to lose that. Father Augustus loot. Baby blue handkerchief with the initials ZZZ and the secret cabal. The loot or the handkerchief are the obvious ones, since they're just items. Let's lose the handkerchief, because it just gets destroyed. We now have a resource called Servitors of the Lineage, which means that we can call on the Clan Garibaldi for assistance when we need it. Let's talk just very quickly about the bizarre rituals. The Clan Garibaldi... live in the northern parts of France, quite close to the border, in the countryside, where the strange customs are not looked at twice. There's great pride in being a Garibaldi. The oldest Garibaldi will inherit the lack of pants from his father and one day will pass it on to his oldest Garibaldi. Their backs are hunched and their ability to grow hair is not great. They have long, thin fingers, sharp noses, sharp ears, and soft knees. Their Bizarre ritual entails them digging catacombs. The Garibaldis live mostly underground. They dig deep holes and passageways underground where there's infinite space for an infinite amount of Garibaldis. They pretend to be vampires. Because that's Garibaldi Sr.' 's big dream. And that's the dream I've promised him I'll make him a vampire. And he's, what, in his 80s now? He still believes. They're larping as vampires over there. And every once in a while I grab a Garibaldi when I need something dirty done. Thank you, Garibaldi. Last thing, let's do the memories real quick. So the first one is, I think it goes under discovering a wider immortal world. So let's write down an experience meeting the family Zed. Okay. And the Enslaving the clan Garibaldi? I'm gonna put it under murdering loved ones. It's not a murder, but it's worse. I have the memory murdering loved ones, which already has the murder of Father Augusto, so I'll put down enslaving the happy family Garibaldi under my servitude. So that means we didn't have to move anything away from our memories, but we're kind of getting full in the memories side, so next time we probably have to make some moves and forget stuff again. Okay, I think that's enough. Tune in next week for some weird write-ups on this. So, bye! Thanks for listening, folks. My name is Auri Itamaki and Solitude is my personal project. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Additional episode music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound, theme song courtesy of me. You can follow Solitude on Instagram at solitudeshow, and if you got something to say, drop a message or comment. I'm still really, really figuring out what's happening in the show, so I'd be super delighted to hear any ideas or suggestions on where to take Solitude drops every week. Every other week there's an actual play episode and on the off weeks I'll do a proper journal reading with music. the sound effects, all the things. So you can enjoy Solitude as an actual play podcast or as an audio drama if you prefer to just listen to the journal entries. Or both. That's up to you. Thanks again for listening. See you next week. Bye! Nico Twinklefang